The day after my 18th birthday, car packed to the brim, I moved to Brisbane to study and live with my big brother. He always looked out for me. Even as a child. I remember playing in a sandpit when a boy threw sand in my face. My brother stormed up to him, shoved him and said 'If you do that again I'll give you a bunch of fives!' shaking his fist in his face. I know he'd still do the same today.
It was such a daunting experience coming from a small town to the big city. It took about a year for me to drive anywhere further than the grocery store - I was so scared of getting lost and not being able to find my way home!
Quite a few of my friends had moved to Brisbane to continue their studies, as had I. My high school sweetheart had also moved down to pursue a career in football. I studied Remedial Therapies while working in the local newsagent and fish and chip shop until I started work as a massage therapist in a physiotherapy clinic. It was such a wonderful place to work-amazing energy and met some beautiful lifelong friends.
These first few years away from ‘home’ passed in a blur. I was 18 and did what any 18 year does-drink and have a great time. Although there were countless times I would call mum in tears wanting to come home. To be back in my little comfy space, with Mum and Dad. Regardless of the people around me I felt lonely. My boyfriend was very focused on making it playing footy. I still have never met a person more dedicated than him. He was always the first at training, the last to leave, never touched a drink…ever, and pubs or clubs were as far from his mind as the moon! Going out anywhere during the week was completely out of the question, and there was always the night before a game routine-a quiet night in. I think I finally gained a lot of independence this way-I went to BBQ’s, parties, pub catchups and dinners…alone, and had fun.
I had spent my life under the watchful eye of my parents and family and now I was in this different city that felt so far away. I felt my Crohns, Drs appointments, health and diet was always managed by my mum. I was so young when I was diagnosed that I grew up not really having to think about it and now it was all up to me. My path of 'management' became one of ignorance. If I just ignored the pain, the trips to the bathroom, acted oblivious to the fact I had Crohns, maybe it would just all go away. I drank, danced the nights away, ate plenty of the take away food that we were never allowed growing up and had no respect for my medication.
Everything came to a head in 2005. This also happened to be the same time that I decided I could no longer live with my brother. I love him to bits. We are just not meant to live together. For the first time in my life I moved in with 2 girls and loved it. Not long after that I moved again…in with my boyfriend, my now mother-in-law, their faithful old dog and my very pretentious cat.
I had been part of a drug trial for a new medication to treat Crohn's. It was a 'blind' trial, meaning some participants received the drug and others received a placebo...aka...nothing. I had received placebo, had a big flare and ended up in hospital. Again I ignored all the signs and symptoms and got to the point where I wasn't eating just so I would stop going to the bathroom. It got so bad that even a glass of water made me run to the toilet. I was treated with intravenous steroids to quickly reduce the inflammation. It was then that I was assessed for a relatively new drug, Infliximab, which was having great success treating Crohns as well as psoriasis, ankylosing spondylitis, psoriatic arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, and ulcerative colitis. I had only ever been on oral medication but this Infliximab was to be administered through a drip over the course of about 6 hours, every 8 weeks. It wasn’t on the PBS so the hospital had to apply for special approval for me to have it. And so it began, my relationship with Infliximab.
xo
No comments:
Post a Comment